Wedding Money Etiquette Guide: How to Split Bridal Shower Expenses

It's such a happy occasion when a best friend, family member, or someone you've known for years gets engaged to be married — and it's an honor to end up in their wedding party. However, being a bridesmaid is also a significant financial commitment. The role comes with many obligations — you'll have parties to host and attend, wedding-day duties to support the couple, and outfits to purchase.

The costs associated with being in the wedding party can rapidly add up, so it's essential to understand the financial expectations. As a bridesmaid, it's normal and encouraged to chat about finances before offering up your time, energy, and service as a wedding party member.

One of the most relevant expenses as a bridesmaid is the bridal shower — a daytime event to celebrate the bride's upcoming marriage and shower her with gifts. This cost is traditionally split amongst the bridal party members.

If everyone in the planning committee is on the same page, and no one pays more (or less) than their fair share, it will result in a happier, less stressful shower. And what's the point of spending all of this money if it's not going to be fun?

In this post, you'll learn the etiquette of splitting the bill for the bridal shower, with tips that include:

• Plan the budget ahead of time
• Don't go overboard on spending
• Decide what gifts you'll get for the bride
• Elect a bridal shower treasurer
• Be firm but fair about bridal shower costs
• Pool is your friend

Plan the budget ahead of time

Winging the tab and paying each other back during the bridal shower planning seems like it will work — until someone forgets to save receipts or send payment requests, and all hell breaks loose.

Forgo the drama by drafting up expenditure and itinerary planning when putting together the bridal shower. Research costs related to food and beverage, decorations, gifts, games and prizes, photo booths, shower favors — anything that comes up during the party planning process. Remember to add in the cost of covering the guest of honor (the bride), divided amongst the payees.

Compile all of the totals and send them to the group. From there, everyone should discuss if they agree that all costs are necessary and throw out any ideas for alternatives. That way, everybody will know what they'll be expected to pay, and there will be no bill disputes.

Decide what gifts you'll get for the bride

We'd all love to give our brides the most extravagant, unforgettable gifts — but let's be honest, we can't always do that. Someone must tell that overzealous maid of honor who's suggesting you pool your money to buy the bride that set of uber-expensive bone china plates.

However, you can spend more on big-ticket item gifts as a group. You could all work together to put money towards something she'll really love, and collect contributions via Pool.

Long before the shower, all planning committee members should get together (sans bride) and decide what their gifts will be. By "gifts," this includes determining whether you all will pay for the entire bridal shower. If the bridal party group can't cover the budget, it's time to get a mother or aunt of the bride involved, for example.

Have the maid of honor conference with the bride first to check their expectations. From there, they can relay the information to the rest of the crew to give direction on what the gifts should be.

Elect a bridal shower treasurer

Whether it's the maid of honor or just a person in the wedding party group who's particularly financially savvy, one person should take charge of keeping track of what's spent and who owes what.

Electing a bridal shower treasurer will help maintain good wedding party etiquette because the costs will be clearly communicated and tracked. This person should be comfortable handling and being in charge of money and be confident enough to follow up when members haven't contributed their fair share.

Making sure everyone is even is the best way to keep everybody in the group happy. Luckily, there are platforms like Pool to help gather contributions and keep an eye on the bridal shower finances.

Be firm but fair about bridal shower costs

Sure, you want to keep things light and fun when planning a party — but it's also important to be fair, considerate, and diplomatic with how you spend your money. Try to avoid expenses slipping through the cracks, where some people are paying more than they should, and others are not paying enough. Pool is a great way to spend money as a group transparently!

When you sign up to pay for a bridal shower, you agree to fork over some dough — and all of your fellow group members have done so with the same understanding. So when everyone decides to splurge on the top-shelf alcohol to serve at the shower, everyone should pay the same amount.

Approach bridal shower planning with a pay-to-play attitude instead of an overly charitable one. And if anyone can't afford to pitch in their fair share, talk it over with the entire group and work something out together before covering for them.

Pool is your friend

You've planned your itinerary, chosen your gifts, and set your budget. Now it's time to start collecting contributions from your bridal shower group — and Pool can help make the process easy and efficient. Pool eliminates the frustration of figuring out who owes what and sending individual reimbursements. Instead, sign up at Poolmoney.com and create a dedicated Pool for bridal shower expenses.

Divide the expenses to find out how much everyone needs to contribute. Here's how it works:

1. Create a Pool devoted to the bridal shower
2. Share the Pool with your bridal shower group to collect contributions by inviting them with their email
3. Tell everyone how much they need to contribute in the Pool description
4. Pay for all bridal shower expenses from the Pool using the Pool debit card

Splitting expenses for a bridal shower doesn't have to be stressful. Everyone can transparently see where and how the money is being spent, and you can forgo the hassle of collecting money from every individual paying for the shower.

When everyone contributes to one shared Pool, it's easier to stay organized, keep spending transparent, and focus on celebrating the bride instead of managing reimbursements. Sign up at Poolmoney.com and create a free Pool for all of your bridal shower needs!